Ehlena and Rehvenge Disagree...

*sitting at her desk, she took out the weapon she'd bought, with Qhuinn's help ~ he said the... what had he called it? She thought and remembered, the Sig was designed as a concealed carry or backup handgun for legally armed citizens ~ she smiled as Q's words came back, spoken in her mind in his voice ~ he'd questioned her wanting to have a weapon in her possession, but not overly much ~ he'd mentioned Rehv only once, then left it alone ~ looking at the gun, she wondered if Rehv would actually teach her to use it properly, or if she'd have to go to Qhuinn for that, as well? Sighing heavily she put the weapon in the desk drawer and considered how best to approach her Hellren with her need to learn a little self-defense. Perhaps Tohrment would help her?*

*as she dressed for dinner, wondering if Rehv would be home or gone again until the morning hours, she thought again about the need she felt to feel safer ~ things had happened that only she and Rehv knew about ~ Qhuinn would ask questions if she persisted in going to him for things he'd made it clear she should be asking Rehv about ~ there was also the fact that mated males were highly unpredictable if their females were around other males, most especially unmated ones, and she didn't want to put Q in that position if Rehv wasn't feeling benevolent about the whole idea ~ she actually laughed at the notion, Rehvenge and benevolent in the same thought was something of an oxymoron, wasn't it?*

*brushing her hair until it gleamed, she stared at her reflection in the mirror ~ pale hair and pale skin ~ unremarkable light brown eyes the color of toffee ~ Rehv thought she was beautiful, and she could never really understand why ~ she put down the brush and her hands fell to her lap, her thoughts wandering again ~ she knew each time she went out she wasn't alone, might never be alone again if Rehv had his way about it all ~ but she still needed to know that she could be alone and not afraid, that she could take care of herself in a way she had never really thought about before ~ would he understand? She glanced over at the desk, the heavy, antique roll-top desk that he'd surprised her with after she'd seen it in a shop late one evening ~ for a moment she wondered if she should lock the drawer where the new Sig had been put, then shook her head ~ Rehv never looked in the desk, he'd told her often it was her private space ~ leaning over to open a jewelry box, she lifted out her favorite necklace, a delicate silver chain, hanging from it a brilliant amethyst heart surrounded by diamonds ~ she closed it and looked at it twinkling back at her from the mirror ~ a moment later she rose and headed down to the dining room, hoping she might have a chance to speak to Tohrment if he was present*

*try as she might, she hadn't been able to enjoy dinner very much, nor the company of her family ~ Qhuinn's occasional glances in her direction had been disconcerting, even if he hadn't meant for it to be that way ~ she knew he'd want her to tell Rehv about the gun, and soon ~ he wouldn't betray her, but he would remind her in his own inimitable way that Rehv would not want to be kept in the dark about her decision ~ her head ached, and she decided to go for a walk on the grounds, with Vishous's security cameras at work, she'd be safe enough*

*she'd lost track of how long she'd wandered the grounds, but the tingle of awareness told her dawn wasn't too far off ~ she heard a sound and glanced around, relaxing a little when she saw it was Q coming to join her on a garden bench* V's been watching you for awhile, thought you might like company, I volunteered. *she smiled at his explanation* Where's JM? *Q shrugged* With Xhex. Where's Rehv? *she looked out at the immaculate gardens* Probably at the Mask ~ are you worried I won't tell him? *silence for a few moments, then she heard the creak of leather that told her he'd stood up* C'mon, Ehlena, time to go inside. Tell Rehv when you're ready to, he won't hear it from me. *she looked up at time for a few seconds, and his odd eyes were carefully shuttered, but she knew her secret was safe with him* Thank you, Qhuinn. *his mouth quirked into a slight smile and he nodded ~ she stood they walked back to the mansion in easy silence*

The following day, Qhuinn took her to the Brotherhood's private shooting range:



Qhuinn had given her some basic instructions, corrected her stance, then stood back to watch her. Even with only the two of them present, he’d been careful not to touch her unnecessarily, fully aware that Rehv would be aware that he’d been around her. She sighed silently, keeping her focus on the targets in front of her. At least the training center kept her within the compound, and Q had chosen their time, insuring no one was around to see who was using the range.

*Her shoulder ached, still adjusting to the unfamiliar recoil of a weapon discharging. She was determined to feel safe, on her own, not forever dependant on Rehv’s guards. She adjusted the goggles Q has insisted she wear, and picked up the Sig again, checking the safety, making sure it was fully loaded, then she concentrated on the solid standing Q had recommended. She took aim and emptied the weapon steadily, forcing the sense of tears into submission, knowing she had to do this. She hadn't needed to keep this skill after she'd been mated to Rehvenge, and it was like starting over again, with a weapon superior to the gun she'd been familiar with when driving ambulances from Havers' Clinic.*

*She reloaded, no longer aware of how many rounds she’d emptied into the range’s targets, getting more and more at ease with the motions as she grew accustomed to the weapon. Her aim was better with each target, and she was feeling more confident. She fired again, smiling a little at the lack of hesitation in her movements now. She put the weapon down and hit the button to bring the paper target toward her so she could see the results of her latest shots. Before she could look closely she heard a sound behind her. For a moment she thought it was Qhuinn checking on her, then a jolt of fear rattled her when she heard the familiar tap of a cane. The icy chill of his rage was almost tangible… Rehv... Her heart sank... he was furious...

"What in the hell are you doing?" Walking over and picking up the revolver. Looking at it, I check the chamber to see she had emptied the thing. Turning the safety to lock I tuck it in the waist band of my trousers. Leaning on my cane now, furious as I wait to see why she thought I would approve of this. Time going by as she stood in fear knowing how my anger was at peak levels, I turn and begin to head out only hesitating for a moment as I look back to her. "We will not talk about this here now let's go!"

*still uncertain whether now was the time to talk or walk, I drag in a deep breath* I wanted to tell you about this, Rehv. I've tried to talk to you about it!

*Ignoring her words and continuing out to the car* "I will not speak to you in here." *Furious that she thought I could not keep her safe and had a gun in her possession I reach the Bentley and open her door for her. Waiting for her to get in, as she passed our eyes meet I melt in side. I love this female more than life it self but she will have to understand what I am trying to do to keep her safe. Closing the door after she gets in, I move around and get in. Closing my door and just sitting there I look out the wind shield as I speak.* "Please tell me what I have in the waist band of my trousers is just a mirage and I am possibly in a dream right now?"

*looking at him, well aware of just how enraged he is, I consider my words carefully, then answer quietly* You are not in a dream, I am in a nightmare, and I'm very tired feeling like I can't escape it. *I turn and look out the window, struggling with fear, anger, and misery, before I whisper* Rehv, I know there is never a moment that you don't know where I am now. But I need to know that I can defend myself if I need to. After what happened, surely you must understand why I feel this way? That's why I asked... *I stop, uncertain, because I don't know if he's aware of just who it was who helped put the gun in my possession*

*A soft growl escaping my chest I reach to her hand taking it and linking our fingers. I do not look in her direction needing the strength I have and would lose if I see her eyes.* You want to learn, yet it was not me you came to, nor was it my choice who helped get you that weapon. I am incredibly aware of your fear, I feel it inside of me with no end. You however would not need to defend if you would follow the rules set in place as to keep you from this action. I am certain I know who would be careless enough to help you acquire a weapon and I will deal with that myself. *slightly squeezing her hand* I am not happy, Leelan. Not at all.

*holding tightly to his hand, drawing from his incredible strength and love, I close my eyes, and will the tears down with real effort* Do you really believe I wanted to ask someone else? *smiling sadly* I know too well what your answer would be, and you know how difficult it is for me to follow rules that make me feel like a prisoner. I know why, and I know too that it's not meant to feel that way, but nallum... I have never been afraid to live my life. *I turn to look at him at last, and reach across to wrap my arms around him, holding tight* Please do not blame Qhuinn for helping me. He told me to tell you, but he kept my secret because I asked it of him. *leaning back enough to meet his brilliant, jeweled eyes, tilting my head to one side* How did you know I was here?

*As she spoke and I listened, I tried to tamp down the anger. Her life however is too important. Her touch calming in ways the anger raging inside me, I wrap my arms around her kissing her neck and slowly lick up her vein to whisper in her ear* Your blood! *Ignoring her mention of Qhuinn and dealing with that in my own way. No more, Leelan! My soul can not handle this fear of losing you for a careless thing. I know you fear as I said and I know how you feel, but you have to trust me please.*

*trembling at the touch of his tongue, I almost smile at my own stupid question ~ of course he would have known where I was ~ why did I think he wouldn't?* I'm sorry you're angry, and I'm even sorry I feel so afraid. I just don't know how to make it stop, Rehv. *swallowing hard, I meet his swirling, angry eyes* And I want it to stop! I don't like feeling weak, nallum - it makes me angry! *leaning in, kissing him softly* I trust YOU, Rehv!! I need to trust myself again.

*pulling her more secure in to our embrace after her soft kiss. I lick my lips at her touch as I rub her back softly.* I know you hate this feeling it is my job, I wish you could get that through your stubborn and beautiful head, Leelan. My duty as your mate is to ensure your safety and bring the peace you once felt. I need this from you to let me do my job as your mate and give that back to you. *Pulling back, I kiss her once more and turn to the key, starting the engine.* Buckle up, Leelan, and we will go home now.

*sighing inwardly, I do as he asks and stare outside as the Bentley roars to life and we head back to the mansion ~ certain this is not the last time we will have this discussion*


(to be continued...)